1. My uncle once: drove a taxi – for fun.
2. Never in my life: have I visited Uzbekistan
3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: Well gosh, Ms. Kimmie
4. High School was: Hell on earth
6. My first real love was: Simon LeBon
7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: very friggin cold. But drunk; they wouldn’t mind.
8. I talk to my ex’s: if I run into them. Mostly it’s all good.
10. When I was 5: I had pigtails and a brown gingham dress with tweety on the apron. I loved that dress.
12. Last Christmas I: had a retro silver Christmas tree I found my in the attic of my new 1968 house.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: an email I received full of ‘atta girls’ that I tacked to my wall to remind myself I’m not a total loser.
16. When I turn my head right, I see: my really messy desk.
18. The craziest Family Event was: a particular wedding about ten years ago when numerous folks ended up speeeding tickets, a groomsman executing a striptease who was egged on by the sister of the bride putting money in his pants.
19. If I was a character on Friends I’d be: one of Joey’s many girlfriends. I’d use him and dump him.
20. By this time next year: I will have a completed manuscript and hopefully on my way to a publishing contract.
21. My favorite Aunt is: yeah, no, not so much.
22. I have a hard time understanding: the appeal of NASCAR.
23. One time at a family gathering: We did New Year’s Day dinner Hawaiian style, complete with obnoxious garb, pineapples and other such acoutrements.
24. You know I “like” you if: I lay lips on you.
25. If I won an award, the first person(people) I’d thank is: Paul.
27. Take my advice: Take the risk, learn, grow.
28. My ideal breakfast is: happens around noon.
30. If you visit my hometown: you will find cows.
Hey man, someone hoarked 31 and 32!
33. If you spend the night at my house: the greyhound will get ya.
34. I’d stop my wedding if: I had any doubts at all.
35. The world could do without: Reality TV.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: okay eww. But I suppose, I’d do that in leiu of killing someone.
37. My favorite blonde is: Dearly departed Hillary hound.
38. Paper clips are more useful than: the plastic wrap on CDs.
39. If I do anything well, it is: write.
40. And by the way: Call your mother and tell her you love her.
41. The last time I was high: I stunk up my car to high heaven and had to drive home with all the damn windows and sunroof open.
42. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: Okay yeah, I’m visualizing dangerous amounts of poo falling from the sky now.
43. I shouldn’t be: such a damn perfectionist.
44. Once, at a bar: Don’t all Kimmie and my stories begin this way?!?
45. Last night: I sat in front of the computer researching Ohio landlord/tenant law. I took a break to watch Mythbusters though!
46. There’s this girl I know who: once put a safety pin through her lip – on purpose.
47. A better name for me would be: pssst, I have no idea. Princess Perky Butt???
48. If I ever go back to school I’ll: get someone else to pay for it.
49. Next time I go to church: will most likely be this weekend for a funeral.
50. How many days until my birthday? Too Many or not enough, depending on your perception.