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Friend of Dorothy

This anecdote actually begins a year ago when Siren Kimmie made a pilgrimage to Ohio for Halloween. Part of our holiday fun was to carve a couple of pumpkins and set then on my front porch.

Being the environmentally aware sort, I allowed the creations to fertilize my front flower bed rather than tangle with half-decomposed vegetation (This was after the squirrels made meals out of them – see prior blog photo).

This spring a strange plant erupted from my bed, but not having lived in this house very long, I allowed it to grow thinking it was some exotic plant. (I never claimed to be a botanist, okay??)

Predictably, it was the prior season’s pumpkin seeds that had taken root and began to coil their viney way across my front yard. I actually became excited about the prospect of having my own pumpkin patch and watched gleefully as the bright orange flowers erupted. I even researched pumpkin fertilization and prepared for the female blossoms that I could artifically inseminate with the male’s pollen.

har, har, ha, ha – I’m helping plant copulate. I get it.

However, much to my dismay, I did not get a single female blossom. Mounds and mounds of males, but not a female in sight. So it begs the question – can produce be gay? And if so, is this the answer our society has been seeking, that homosexuality is, in fact, biological, notated by the lack of female blossoms and a total refusal to reproduce???

Someone get me a federal grant; I’ve got the perfect research study.

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