How NOT to Market (aka marketing fail)

Earlier in the week, I received this comment (which also supports why I moderate comments on this blog):

Dear Cristy,

We are huge fans of Living Donor 101 over at [shamless plug]! We’re one of the top 10 online media companies in the US and would love for you to help pilot our new Health & Wellness Community at [another shameless plug], slated to launch in the coming weeks.

If you’re interested, please contact me about joining our community for the launch!


Sxxxx Hxxxxxx
Community Partners Editor
[company with no shame]

And just yesterday this email arrived:


The name is [probably fake name redacted], I’m a professional writer and webmaster; a pleasure to e-meet you! I’ve been reading your blog lately at the office and I’m loving it so far, plus I was quite impressed with the design of your site; it’s so nicely customized that it just stands out.

I’m contacting you because I have a few ideas for an article that, in my opinion, would be very fitting for your readers.

The format of the article would be as follows:

Length: >= 400-600 words.

Delivery: Formatted HTML file with pictures and relevant supplementary resources, ready for publishing.

Copyrights: 100% original and not published anywhere else; the article will be for the exclusive use of your blog.

Would it be fine if the article body contained one, entirely relevant link to my website, which would add even more value to the article?

I really love to write, so I’m absolutely ready to prepare the article for you and send it for your approval within the next few days; I’m sure you will like it and we’ll get it to work, but should you decide not to publish I will just stash it in my private collection for later use – no harm done!

Let me know if this is something you would be interested in.

Kind regards,
[fake name redacted]

The first example is blatant, the second less so. The first I siphoned into my ‘spam’ folder; the second I replied with this:

[fake name redacted],

Unfortunately your email pitch comes across as entirely canned and
formulated. There is nothing in your message to indicate you’ve read a
single word on the website, or have any understanding of the purpose of
our organization. In fact, you don’t even identify the topic of your
‘guest post’ or its intent.

In the future, I suggest at least attempting to personalize your blatant
attempts at marketing.

Not included in my response but still true -> A real professional would use something a bit more substantial than a gmail account (Full disclosure: I have a couple; but my ‘business’ emails don’t originate from there)

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