Saturday night: Fridge Died.
Sunday: Purchased new fridge but it won’t be delivered til sometime Wednesday. Buy bags of ice, throw out most of fridge/freezer’s contents but attempt to salvage some food.
Monday: Realized I have a doctor’s appt at 1pm on Wednesday and I have NO idea what time the fridge is arriving. Plus, I have no number to call to and find out. Buy more ice for fridge/freezer. Begin piling towels on carpet in front of dead appliance because ice is melting and thereby leaking from the bottom of the damn thing.
Tuesday: Really had enough of walking through the kitchen and leaving with wet socks. Then I attempt to burn my house down. Irritated by cold soggy tootsies, I had tossed a paper towel on my end table and marched upstairs to blow-dry my feet. Approximately 30 seconds later, I returned, only to catch a whiff and ask rhetorically, “Alright, what’s on fire?”, thereby spying the flaming paper towel after it made contact with a votive candle. Fortunately the only damage was to the bag of candy corn minding its own business nearby. Damn, burnt plastic bag reeks.
Wednesday: Awoken by delivery folks and greet them in my PJs. Oh well. Gynecological appointment rife with painful violations and long-term trauma. I never want to hear a man gripe about a hernia or prostate exam again. Attended first meeting of writer’s group: not sure if I impressed or frightened them.
Thursday: Received delivery for CCE only to find it fucked up. Fabulous. Realize it’s 9th of November and my writer’s are MIA. Even more fantastic. Travis escapes and I nearly blow my vocal chords in my panicked screaming. Thank goodness he’s “highly treat motivated”.
Friday: Decide to hook up the water line for ice-maker/water dispenser in my new fridge. Problem is, I’m putting it in a different place in the kitchen so the existing line doesn’t reach. Home Depot only sells it in 72″ segments; not long enough. Damn, damn, damn. See American Dog, drink rasp vodka and tonic, run into a guy who has been chasing me for six years and who is now MAD PISSED cuz he has a ‘girl’ with him. Gotta admit, that’s pretty hilarious.
Saturday: Get second delivery for CCE – also fucked up. No, these shipments did not come from the same company. Go to Lowe’s and find a 25′ ice machine line and kit. Woot woot. Attempt to drill hole in my kitchen floor to discover my cordless drill battery is dead. Boo. Leave it to charge and hook one end of the line to the fridge. Spend the rest of the evening in PJ’s in front of the TV with endless amounts of junk food and finally fall asleep watching The Shield on FX at 2am.