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Short Hiatus

Suspiciously quiet for a couple of days I know, but to be honest, this whole transplant thing has fried my brain. The possibility of Mary’s kidney failure arose in early December, was confirmed in late March and I had blood drawn for potential tissue matching in mid-April. So for at least three months, my energy, thoughts and feelings have been sucked into the black hole of medical necessity.

Interestingly enough, when Mary first received her diagnosis, she said to me, “I don’t want everyone coming around because of this thing.”

“Like they’re gathering around your death bed?” I replied.

“Yes. I just want things to be normal.”

And now I understand what she meant. In some ways, the attention (demonstrated in loving concern) is helpful, but it can also be fatiguing. There just comes a point when all you want is to exist without this THING hanging over you.

Pretend we’ll all live forever.

Just for a minute.

One reply on “Short Hiatus”

Boy don’t I ever remember that feeling. I swear that for the four and half months prior to our donation operation (our process took two years from beginning to end, yuck), it took every ounce of energy just to do the daily things that had to be done as well as manage the process of getting to the operating room floor.

But I know that you’ve thought this through well and are deep in your conviction as to exactly why you’re doing it. So hang in there and have faith. There are many more people out there who are supporting you then you’d ever imagine.

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