suicide by golf cart

Preparing for leaving town and catching up upon return almost makes taking a vacation futile. Nothing I said “almost” so I thought I’d share this gem, taken from the blog of one of my co-vacationers. While the boys spent the day on the golf course, I worshipped Ra and typed on my laptop. When we reconvened, we hit the local pub (gotta like being within walking distance of four bars) for pre-dinner munchies and drinks. It was here I first heard this tale.

“I dreaded the 18 holes of golf on Thursday because of my mental and physical fatigue. We played a course called Oyster Bay, just north of Calabash, N.C. What a gorgeous place: swampy inlets, ponds, contoured and manicured fairways and greens — and lots and lots of sand! Oh man, did I ever spend some time in the sand. (It was a nice day for the beach …) I shot 93 for the round, which was OK considering I golfed poorly on the front nine and killed a squirrel by running it over with our golf cart!

The stupid little rodent darted right in front of the cart while my brother and I were cruising along the path. I tried to avoid it, but it got caught under the driver’s side front wheel. The cart must have dragged the squirrel for 15 feet or so before running it over. I looked back on the path, hoping against my instinct that the squirrel was indeed cart-path kill. When I saw it twitching, feet toward the sky, I knew my hope was dashed.

I didn’t dwell on the dead squirrel because it clearly exhibited lemming-like behavior. I didn’t want to kill the thing, but perhaps my wants took a backseat to other forces at that time; I served a higher purpose: a tale that’s no doubt been repeating itself for a long time.”

Needless to say my sudden chants of “Squirrel Killer!” for the remainder of our trip served to put us all in hysterics.

3 replies on “suicide by golf cart”

Just exactly how slow or crippled must a squirrel be to get run over by a golf cart? I’m calling this one a squirrel suicide. The poor little critter was probably having a bad squirrel day.

Considering how I am about dead animals, you should have WARNED me about this! You should have told me to look the other way… don’t read…. but nooooo…. you had to rope me in with a nifty subject line. And now I’m all depressed. I’m going to have nightmares of a squirrel lying on a path, feet up in the air and flattened int he middle with a little treadmark. OH THE HUMANITY!!! 😉

To be honest, when I was first treated to this little tale, I was completely horrified. My explanation was something along the lines of “Why’d you tell me that?!” but then the story kept expanding. Joe jerking the wheel in the cart (which have next to NO maneuverability) and practically giving his golf buddy whiplash. Worse, the other half of their foursome caught up with them at the green and said “hey did you see that squirrel back there? What the hell happened to that thing?!” So Poor Joe became the butt of the joke almost immediately.

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