I realize. White Girl. Saying Shiznit. Not appropriate.
But I’m having one of those days…
Perhaps some of you saw the Today show segment, or others read about it in their local paper. I’m guessing the majority have no flipping idea what I’m talking about right now, so I’ll get right to it –
I am going to have the new fangled single-port nephrectomy!
WTF? you ask.
In short, it means that all instruments will be inserted and Trixie will be removed via ONE incision in my NAVEL.
Traditional laproscopic surgery requires three or four punctures in my abdomen for the instruments used to cut and clip the vessels surrounding Trixie and then another four to six inch incision in my bikini area for removal. All in all, not a bad deal at all.
However, pain and recovery time comes from all those incisions. Your organs don’t have pain receptors so it’s not as if my actual veins and arteries will be complaining from being clipped; it’s my skin and muscles. By going in through my navel, it cuts my need for morphine and my whining from my sofa practically in half.
My SO is quite happy about this prospect, I assure you.
And considering I had been chirping to my anyone who would listen “Could you miss my tattoo? Could you not cut into my tattoo?” I’m sure the surgeon is quite happy to only be dealing with my belly button.
When I hung up with my coordinator, I was literally dancing around the living room. Who knew the prospect of having surgery could make you happy?