Truth in Advertising

A friend of mine is dipping her toe in the ocean of online dating. Fortunately this is not something I’ve had to contend with for a very long time and hopefully, won’t have to ever again.

What does one say about oneself when one is trying to find a mate? A lot of folks do not look good on paper (or webpage as the case may be). So I don’t have any answers, but in my brief time scouring potential dates for my friend, I do have some rules that I’m sure are hard to argue with.

Guys, these are for you, since I wasn’t checking out the chicas….

1. No photos of yourself surrounded by women unless they are related to you by blood.
2. Please learn how to spell.
3. Keep your clothes on. Seriously.
4. At least one photo where you’re smiling; these are not mug shots. You’re trying to look accessible.
5. Avoid phrases like “little lady” or “little woman”.
6. A little humor is good. A lot of humor sounds like a defense mechanism.
7. You might want to keep your motorcycle or car out of the photo too.
8. Pets are great, but pit bull kind of thing might send the wrong message. (just saying!)
9. Avoid bad poetry on the profile. If you’re not sure of the quality, it’s best to skip it altogether.

My friend was a bit reluctant to send me her profile, which is highly ironic considering what a gifted writer she is, but I managed to wring it out of her. Then I devised my own:

I swear too much, I drink too much, I use big words, and I’m a general pain in the ass. If you’re still interested, send me a message.

If they could get past that, we might be on to something. 🙂

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