Vamped by David Sosnowski

According to this little tale has been sold to Bluewater Ranch Entertainment company. What I want to know is WHY?? Not that Vamped isn’t entertaining in its own way, but it truly was unimpressive. The dust jacket spoke of the world having gone the way of the bloodsucker, now sustaining life on ‘canned’ blood extracted from stem cells (gotta love that little touch, btw), and one of the men who started it all becoming bored with immortality, bored with monotony of it all and deciding to off himself. So how would he spend his last night on earth? What would he think about?

Unfortunately I’ll never know, because instead, our protagonist runs into a HUMAN girl and decides to take her home. So the story I wanted to read, the one about how all of humanity turned and how this one guy, who thought it was a brilliant idea at the time, was bowing out, even if it did mean an enternity in Christian hell, became yet another tale of parenting – its trials, tribulations, obstacles, anxieties and general pain-in-the-ass-ness. Sure, there were tidbits about the nightcrawler metamorphosis, and some of the character studies were rather novel, but as a whole, I found the girl to be annoying, the protagonist to be clumsy and his ‘love interest’, a stripper for gawd-fucking-sake, to be completely detached from the reality of such people.

Sure, it’s a different take on the vampire genre, which I appreciate greatly, but the last thing I need was yet ANOTHER book about the perils of single fatherhood and teenage daughters. Take seventy thousand words and explore this guy’s life/undeath, and then him fry on the last page. That’s a story worth reading.

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